A faux holiday famously invented for the Seinfeld TV show, Festivus includes a bare aluminum pole in place of a Christmas tree, a Feat of Strength wrestling match, and an Airing of Grievances at which each person tells his friends and family how much they’ve disappointed him over the past year. It’s all fun and games in Seinfeld, of course, but I’d like to borrow the Airing of Grievances concept as this year winds to a close. And why not? The end of a calendar year is as good a time as any for taking stock.
Disney World has done a lot of things this year, and they’ve introduced many new elements. Chief among those are New Fantasyland (including Storybook Circus) and Test Track, but there have been others too. Rapunzel tower, mermaids in Pirates, Art of Animation resort, new castle projections, Splitsville, etc. Enough that Disney cannot realistically be accused of simply resting on its laurels. They are out there spending money and creating new stuff. This is a good thing, by and large, and I want to take a moment to applaud them for it.
But if the changes are superficial and there to MASK deeper foundational issues, then perhaps we should temper our enthusiasm. In many ways, Walt Disney World is a study in contrasts. They spend money on new stuff, sometimes quite a lot. But then they shirk the most basic maintenance costs, as if the company is in retreat mode and in danger of being de-listed from the NYSE and needs to hoard cash. It’s a bizarre mashup of spending and conserving that implies conflicted logic, as if the right hand and left hand don’t know what the other is up to, yet are still actively engaged in one-upmanship as if there was a stated conflict. It’s like a Miller Lite commercial, but replacing Less Filling and Tastes Great with “Save Money (on maintenance)” and “Spend Money (on flashy new stuff)”.
At the heart of it, of course, is the desire to spend money in TARGETED ways that attract attention, and save money in ways that don’t much matter in the court of public opinion. Call it the Miller Lite Budget. I know I keep switching metaphors, but to capture the true flavor of Walt Disney World today, you have to call it a Miller Lite mentality toward spending that yields both a Declining by Degrees outcome and a Rizzo Factor attitude toward plussing. All three metaphors are accurate at the same time. I’ll keep searching for a Grand Unified Theory that can encompass all of them. In the meantime, I’ll be comforted by the fact that Einstein, too, was thwarted in his attempt to find a Grand Unified Theory. Until we isolate that elusive principle, what we’ve got is a Decline By Degrees, a Rizzo Factor, and a Miller Lite Budget.
The Miller Lite Budget is really just a marketing-driven budget. Instead of spending money on core upkeep and core operations, they spend money on flashy new stuff that they can put into advertisements. Would it “sell” to point out to Middle America that all the Epcot attractions are open until 9:30 in the holiday season because Walt Disney never wanted to see a half-closed park? Heck no! So instead, they close most of the attractions before the park itself closes and choose to advertise something else (Test Track, in this case).
The stink of it is, Test Track is good. And yes, Disney takes away at the same time that it gives.
You would barely know that Epcot is celebrating the holidays. There are barely any decorations up. We saw one sad, lonely garland in the Land pavilion food court, but that was it for the whole pavilion. They used to decorate all the parks in myriad ways, but I guess they only show you holiday decorations now when you want to pay for the holiday party. More Miller Lite Budgeting.
Anyone looking for a park actually decorated to the HILT with holiday lights should skip the mouse and head up the interstate to SeaWorld Orlando. Sakes alive is it amazing there. They don’t quite match the small world holiday and Haunted Mansion holiday one-two punch of Disneyland, but by gum they come close. Disney World may have just given up.
They even have zones in SeaWorld where the decorations have a theme (here: red lights)Can it be said that complaining just makes us look like whiners? I would like to discuss that for just a second. It’s important to keep perspective on the purpose of “complaining” (or at least pointing out deficiencies), which in my case is not selfishly motivated. I would argue that Disney should interpret it as constructive feedback. We point out problems because we care. The opposite of love is not hate; it’s indifference.
Also, remember that NOT giving voice to problems when you see them can (and will) be interpreted by Disney executives as tacit approval. Imagine they raised ticket prices by ten dollars next year. If there is no outcry, shouldn’t any exec worth his salt duplicate the feat, or even try to push it further, the next year? Well, that same principle applies to just about everything on this list. If we say nothing, we are telling Disney that everything is just fine.
It doesn’t have to be shrill, rude, or hysterical. It’s possible to have a level-headed discussion about shortcomings in the Disney experience and still be a fan. We love Disney and want it to be its best.
Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose
If you speak French, you know the above phrase means that the more things change, the more they stay the same. In other words, we kid ourselves by pretending that anything FUNDAMENTAL ever changes. Frankly put, despite the flashy changes introduced in 2012 (New Fantasyland, Test Track), the core experience of a Disney vacation hasn’t changed too much in the last few years.I pawed through the archives and discovered the last time I did an article on the “big stuff” in the Declining by Degrees category, it was a list from 2008 that still largely rings true. I wondered briefly if I could just reproduce the same list and NOT call attention to the fact that it was written four years ago–would anyone notice?
What I’ll do is use some of the language from that 2008 in today’s article, but update individual sentences as I go. It’s a shame that many sentences require no updating, since nothing has changed in four years.
Read the rest at MiceChat: http://micechat.com/17628-walt-disney-world-grievences/
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Kevin Yee is the author of numerous independent Disney books, including the popular Walt Disney World Earbook series and Walt Disney World Hidden History.
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